Theta Campaign - Return of the Dragon Queen – Episode 33 Pt. 1

Written by: Flamereptile

Written: 05/13/26

Theta Campaign - Return of the Dragon Queen – Episode 33 Pt. 1

This week’s tale begins as the mushrooming cloud of dust and smoke subsides and begins to drift away.

Down below the wreckage, almost at the exact point in which the skyship impacted the ground, two manticores wriggle free from their bindings. Now most creatures, beasts and monstrosities included, would have died from that impact, the mangled sheep surrounding them were proof of that, but Chester and Chesa were blessed in a way that most creatures could only dream of. They were part cat.

Not only did they land on their feet when the skyship ignited and collapsed around them, and maintain that landing as the hundreds of fluffy sheep crashed into them and were burnt to a crisp, but they were also born with nine lives. To most creatures who don’t have nine lives, the execution of the expression appears as nothing more than an incredible feat of luck in which the feline in question was seemingly not harmed. This, however, is not exactly how this incredible feat works, rather, Chester and Chesa were wreathed in flames, peeling away one of those lives, and their bones were crushed, stripping them of another. Yet, they both emerged from the wreckage, seemingly untouched, and flew away into the day.

*** Alonzo ***

Now Alonzo clenched his cheeks a touch as he drifted down towards the ground and saw these two, untouched manticores emerge from the fireball that engulfed the wreckages of the skyship. However, a moment later he let out a sigh of relief as the manticores flew off in the opposite direction.

With the red-headed barmaid in hand, Alonzo descended a safe distance away from the wreckage, gently regaining his foothold on the stable earth. The wings that carried him into the air fell limp across his shoulders and resumed their normal occupation as cloak.

Concerned for the well-being of the woman he had just saved, Alonzo performed a medical diagnosis over her. If there was one thing that Alonzo knew as well as breaking people, it was determining how broken a person was. Fortunately for her, Alonzo could tell that the barmaid hadn’t been broken, not in the physical sense at least.

She was covered from head to toe in bruises and scratches, nothing that couldn’t be healed with a simple healing spell, but he wasn’t concerned as much about superficial physical injuries. She was alive, but he didn’t think she would want to be for long after remembering what the last few days had brought to her.

Nearly three days prior, after Alonzo and his hires had joined the crew of the skyship undercover to help bring an end to the cult that crewed it, the skyship had descended upon their target, Manticore Tor. The attack was swift, and before he knew it, the vast space in the hold in which he holed up in was being filled with sheep.

He had heard the shepherd had willingly joined the cult, but his apprentices were less willing. The cult had killed one as an example, and strung the corpse and the other up on the bow of the ship. The groundskeeper had tried to defend his family, but Alonzo had heard he was beaten pretty badly. Him, his family, and the barmaid were taken and stuffed into a cell on the lower deck.

The captain and religious leaders had decided to wait within the clouds to mount an ambush on the owners of the keep, but in the meantime, they needed to keep the crew entertained.

Alonzo wasn’t sure what had happened at the time, and he couldn’t risk breaking his cover too early on a hunch, but he was now sure of the atrocities those cultists did to the barmaid.

“That poor girl.” He thought, “Would she want me to make her forget?”

Alonzo pondered for a few moments, but ultimately made the decision to heal the woman, in mind and body.

He laid her down, draping a robe over her to protect her dignity, laid his hand over her head, and began chanting a prayer. Alonzo witnessed firsthand the horrors the barmaid underwent. The violence. The brutality. The sheer indecency of those cultists.

Alonzo modified her memory, removing the horrors of the last three days and replacing them with something slightly more pleasant. When she awoke, she would remember being beaten, lightly tortured, and interrogated, but not violated. He then laid his hands over her, covering her in golden light, curing many of her wounds.

At the feeling of warmth and recovery, Jessica’s eyes stirred beneath her lids before they fluttered open. Standing over her was a handsome, clean-shaven man. The last thing she remembered was being stripped and beaten by the cultists that had abducted her. She shuddered at the thought, but was comforted by the warm energies being poured into her by this man.

“Healing magics,” She thought, “This man must have saved me and tended to my wounds. How could I have been so lucky? How can I repay him?”

She stared into his eyes and began to say, “My her…”

“You good bitch?” asked Alonzo.

Now, Alonzo was a bigwig in the capitol of the Coastlands, at least in the underground scenes. He was a tough, handsome, and wildly successful Half-Elf who leaned in strongly to his High-Elven heritage. Alonzo was the kind of man who could persuade dragons into letting him keep watch over their hoard, and deceive them into believing a rival gang had stolen it. He had done this many times in fact, cutting down on his competition drastically. But one thing that Alonzo is completely incapable of is keeping his cool when confronted by a beautiful dame.

He clams up, becomes ridged, and speaks in short, harsh words, all while screaming at himself inside to pull it together.  

Jessica gasped and became red in the face, “I… I’m fine.” She pouted as Alonzo rigidly turned and began walking off.

“Wait here. There’s danger up ahead.”

Jessica looked around her, “Wait here, in the middle of this field? Naked and only covered by a cloak?” she thought. “There was nowhere to go. Nothing to do…”

She watched as he continued to walk away and her heart melted, “This isn’t over.”

*** Prinze ***

Prinze descended swiftly to the ground below, continuing his search for the corpse of Velistra Frostveil. The search wasn’t difficult for him, however, as he had kept one eye locked on the direction in which she fell since the moment she fell overboard. He didn’t know how she had come back to life, especially since he still had her skull in his bag, but he wasn’t going to let the cult collect her corpse and reanimate her again.

Making landfall next to her mangled body, Prinze produced his Adamantine Folding Chair from his back. He cocked it then smacked her a few times, just to make sure she really was dead.
“Maybe we needed to hurt them with the onyx like we did Carl Wester? Maybe I should get this chair studded? For her pleasure…” He thought to himself aloud.

Prinze stuffed the corpse of Velistra into his bag, for safekeeping, and so he could strip her of any valuable items, and wondered, “What did Beezul mean by ‘It’s safe down here?’ The lower deck was on fire. That seems like the opposite of safe to me.”

He looked on to the fading mushroom cloud of smoke and dust and murmured, “Beezul is probably dead, but I better go check anyway. He’s like a cockroach – it’s hard to actually kill him.”

Prinze bounded across the grassy field, passing by the prone and naked Jessica when he stopped, back stepped, and asked, “Are you alright?”

“No, I don’t really think so.” She said as she stared at Alonzo.

“Okay. Stay here then.” He said as he bounded off.

“Stay here then?” She thought, “In the middle of a field? Naked? What is wrong with him?”

*** Alonzo & Prinze ***

Prinze approached behind Alonzo, stopping a few inches behind and to his side.

“You aren’t part of the dragon cult are you?” he asked.

“No, I’m not.” Replied Alonzo.

“But I saw you revive a dragonkin.”

Alonzo turned, “You mean Beezul? Isn’t he your friend?”

“No. Not really a friend. More of a frenemy. We have a common enemy… and travel together… and live together.”

“You know, you’re hard to track down.” Said Alonzo, changing the subject.

“Yeah, I live on a flying island. Wait… We aren’t that hard to track. You can literally go to any dragon and I’ll be there. Probably in its mouth.” Said Prinze.

Alonzo was silent for a moment, pondering his next response. He could tell that Prinze hadn’t let down his guard yet, and he had seen the deadly efficiency that Prinze could fight with. What was his problem with dragonkin? Wasn’t he one himself? It sure looked like it.

“I want to help you.” He finally decided to say.

“Why?” asked Prinze.

“Those pricks ruined my business.”

“Enough said.” Said Prinze as he relaxed.

Now, Prinze is an odd creature, to say the very least. Generally jovial and good natured, often looking to help out those in need, except for anything that resembles a dragon. In fact, not just anything that resembles a dragon, but anything involved with dragons in practically any fashion. This is particularly odd because Prinze himself was born a green dragonkin.

His hatred, however, wasn’t something innate to Prinze either. It was first spurred on only a few months prior when his wrist wraps became awakened, revealing themselves as not just a convenient piece of apparel for those monastically inclined, rather as a vessel for a vestige of the Giant Lord Jotunn. Since that day, the vestige of Jotunn has whispered, or rather shouted, in Prinze’s mind about little more than purging dragonkind from this plane.

Prinze, who was then good friends with Beezul, who at the time was just a simple Kobold, maintained a fair amount of control over his thoughts, however, as the months waned on, and Jotunn shouted louder, Prinze would grow more hostile towards those of the draconic persuasion around him.

Oddly enough, Prinze has struck some sort of arrangement with Jotunn, making it so that he will only slay Beezul last, after he has slain all other dragonkin upon the plane, and then himself. Jotunn would have argued the logistics of this, but even his vestige was wise enough to view a win as a win, regardless how small.

Prinze and Alonzo both turned to stare at the burning wreckage.

“I saw them go into a door on the lower deck, a magical one. So I’m waiting to see if they pop out of it.”

A sudden realization dawned on Prinze, “He had used the doorknob to his magnificent beehive to save everybody” he thought.

“Makes sense.” Prinze said aloud, “I though Beezul was trying to trick me down into a burning deck to die.”

Alonzo gave a side eye to Prinze.

“I guess I should also wait to make sure my lawyer is alive. I will need him in the future.” Said Prinze, referring to Allistair.

The two waited a few minutes before growing impatient. Alonzo reached his hand toward the sky and began chanting a prayer, calling down an isolated pocket of rain to help speed up the quenching of the fire.

“Where are the manticores?” asked Prinze.

“They crawled out and left.” Replied Alonzo.

“What? I saw the crash and the powder explosion… a second time! How did they survive?” asked Prinze.

“They’re part cat.” Said Alonzo, “they have nine lives.”

“Fuck me! Like a cat dragon?” asked Prinze.

A thought echoed wildly across the minds of both Alonzo and Prinze, and terror sank deep into their cores, “Dragons are pretty much just cats…”

Both shuddered at the thought.

“Do you know who Frank is?” asked Prinze.

“Your guess is as good as mine.” Replied Alonzo, “Maybe he was one of the prisoners? I heard the pale guy and Beezul talking about a Frank.”

Once the conjured water had subsided, and the flames had died down a bit, Alonzo and Prinze began digging through the rubble in search of Beezul’s door. While digging, Alonzo noticed several crossbow bolts sticking out of Prinze, who seemingly hadn’t noticed them.

“Are you hurt?” Alonzo asked, gesturing down at the bolts.

“Oh, these? Yeah, I forgot about those.” Replied Prinze.

Alonzo pulled his cigar from his mouth and the tip glowed a bright white as he reached out and touched Prinze’s shoulder. Healing magics flooded Prinze’s body.

“Ow! Shit! You didn’t pull the bolts out first!” exclaimed Prinze and the healing magics pushed the embedded crossbow bolts from his flesh slower than a quick tug normally would.

Alonzo shrugged and went back to digging.

*** Allistair, Dolgrak, & Beezul ***

Safe within Beezul’s magnificent beehive, Dolgrak turned from the golden, sticky wonders and looked up at Beezul.

“Name’s Dolgrak.” He said, reaching out his hand to Beezul for a handshake. He would quickly regret this decision as he suddenly discovered that Beezul was always sticky and covered in honey.

“Beezul.” He replied.

“How do we get out of here?” Dolgrak asked.

“Uuh, well… I don’t know. Presuming the door is still there, on some broken piece of hull, we should be able to get out.”

Beezul walked a few steps forward and tapped on the magical doorknob. The scales on his hands sizzled a bit and he said, “Still hot, so I guess there’s a fire outside. We might just need to wait a while.”

Nodding, Dolgrak searched out the nearest place that wasn’t completely drenched in honey. This whole place was like the inside of a giant beehive, but catered to the humanoid vision of a Victorian mansion.

Something little known to the masses of Elindor, but Victor Weddington, the least disliked of the whole Weddington lineage, was the founder of the Victorian style mansion, characterized by its typically ornate asymmetrical designs, steep roofs, intricate trims, and grandiose interiors often clad with winding staircases and unused spaces. Victor Weddington’s style was inspired by an even older architectural style, also called the Victorian style, which he learned while making dealings with unfathomably ancient entities in his youth.

The two sat awkwardly near each other for a time, looking back and forth between one another and Allistair who was oddly distracted.

Growing bored and impatient, Dolgrak reached towards his ear and cast a spell, sending a mental message to Alonzo “Alonzo, we’re alive and trapped inside of the door. We need help getting free.” A moment later a message was received back from Alonzo, “Understood.”

*** Alonzo & Prinze ***

Alonzo and Prinze continued their search for their missing party members, which concluded promptly when Alonzo lifted a chunk of smoldering hull that possessed a perfectly untouched door attached to it.

“There’s you’s is.” He said comically.

He knocked on it, and a moment later, the door opened.

*** Everyone ***

“Freedom!” yelled Beezul as he erupted from the door. He immediately caught sight of the nearby piles of charred sheep, grabbed one, and took a bite from it, shouting, “I never thought I’d taste real food again!”

Alonzo and Prinze eyed Beezul instead of watching the rest of them emerge from the magnificent beehive.

“That was crazy.” Said Prinze, “It’s been a while since we’ve all been in impending danger like that.”

“You think that was crazy?” asked Dolgrak, “I spent four days stuffed in a barrel, only to come out into a battle.”

“Four days?” asked Allistair, Beezul, and Prinze in surprise.
“Yeah.” Replied Alonzo, “I hired him about four days ago. So yeah, he’s been in that barrel for about four days. You came out a few times to go off the side of the deck though.”

“True.” Said Dolgrak, “You know, I think we could have commandeered that ship if somebody didn’t destroy the wheel.”

“That was the plan.” Said Alonzo.

Prinze stopped what he was doing and stared at them both like a deer in headlights, “You know, I didn’t think of that.”

“Yeah, that’s what I hired him for.” Said Alonzo, gesturing towards Dolgrak.

“Well if you were better at steering we wouldn’t have crashed.” Said Prinze.

“If I had done better at steering a ship without a wheel? Is that right?” asked Dolgrak.

“Yeah, that’s what I said.” Replied Prinze.

The two went silent for a moment at stared at one another before bursting out in a cacophony of shouts and accusations, most of which made no sense, until Prinze said, “Well, we have a Skyland, so we don’t need a skyship.”

“Wait, you own that Skyland?” asked Dolgrak.

“Well, actually he owns the giant that owns the Skyland.” Said Alonzo.

Beezul and Prinze froze and stared at Alonzo.

“Wait, how do you know that?” asked Beezul.

“I know a lot of things about a lot of people.” Said Alonzo, “And you weren’t hard to find out about. It’s really easy when you’re so tied in with the council, and when every time you return to the capitol its in a giant looming mass of stone in the sky.”

“You know, you may have a good point there. We aren’t that discreet.” Said Prinze, “Either way, I don’t own the giant. He just swears fealty to me.”

“How did such a tiny man get a giant to swear fealty to him?” asked Dolgrak as his small Deep Gnome figure peered up at Prinze.
“Well, they actually swore fealty to my wrist wraps here… it’s a long story. They do what I tell them.” Said Prinze, “And what do you mean tiny man? You’re a Gnome.”

Dolgrak shrugged, “Eh, it is what it is. So how do you steer that thing anyway? A big wheel that you haven’t broken yet?”

“No, we use Blagothskull.” Said Prinze as he pointed to his temple, “He uses his brain.”

Dumbfounded, Dolgrak asked, “What’s a Blagothskull?”

“My Cloud Giant.” Replied Prinze.

“YOUR Cloud Giant?” asked Dolgrak.

“Dolgrak, get with the program. It’s the giant that swore fealty to Prinze.” Said Alonzo.

“Actually, four giants have sworn fealty to me. There’s Blagothskull, Wiglof, his wife Hulda, and… Maximus!?” Prinze trailed off as Beezul and Maximus stepped from the interior of the magnificent beehive.

“Yeah, while you were arguing I revived him.” Said Beezul, “I shoved the diamond up his…”

“I think I’m going to go.” Interjected Maximus as he stood there completely in the nude.

Now, in his previous life, Maximus was often the first to remove his clothes in any scenario. Preferring to fight in his most natural form, often the first action Maximus would take at the beginning of any fight was to remove his robes. When Prinze and Maximus has charged the incoming skyship, and thrown themselves headlong into battle against the cult upon it, Maximus had failed to remove his robes as he normally would. As he was drenched in acid by the Oracle of the Frost Faithful, and neared death, Maximus would ponder if the reason for his failure and defeat was because of his clothes?

“What do you mean?” asked Prinze, “You’re just done? Like you’re leaving? You’re done fighting dragons with us? Done fighting the cult?”

“Yeah.” Said Maximus, “I kind of don’t have a purpose anymore. I’ve lost my way.”

“No.” said Beezul, “We have each other. We’re good at killing dragons. We’re good together.”

“When I set out with you, Prinze, I was seeking the wisdom of my mentors. Of the great philosophers of the Coastlands. But getting caught up in this… in fighting the cult and the dragons, I’ve lost that. I’ve only found one of the philosophers I was seeking, and he was… something.”

Beezul, Maximus, and Prinze were overcome with less than savory memories of the first philosopher that Maximus had been seeking, and how Prinze could barely contain himself from attacking him once he was revealed to be a dragon.

“And now, since learning the basics of the Blade Doctrine,” Maximus gestured to the mutations he had undergone in recent weeks, “I’m not really sure who I am.”

Prinze and Beezul stared at him for a few moments before, Beezul asked, “What will you do? Where will you go?”

“I think I’m going to go reflect a little.” He takes of the magical necklace that he was given a week prior and hands it to Beezul, “Maybe start over from the beginning.” Then handed his magical amulet to Prinze.

Maximus then turned and began to walk off, raising a hand behind him to signal farewell without turning back. Beezul could feel a pull emanating from the necklace, drawing him east, just how Maximus had said it had done. Towards the next philosopher he sought. Maximus would quickly disappear over a hillside, out of sight.

Saddened, Prinze turned and produced his flying broom, mounting it and flying up to Sky’s Reach.

Alonzo, understanding that it was time to pack up and leave, walked back to Jessica and said, “We gotta go.” Before picking her up and cradling her and flying off. As he followed behind Prinze, Alonzo glanced down at Jessica, noticing her staring back up at him with big, doughy green eyes. His blood began to run hot and anxiety overcame him. Alonzo knew what infatuation looked like. He knew what swooning was, however well concealed it was.

Allistair, who had been uncharacteristically silent during this exchange, snapped back into reality and began to count the remaining bodies. He cast a flying spell on himself, Dolgrak, Linda, and Taylor, instructing Dolgrak to carry the boy Daniel. Allistair himself picked up Arnold, and the six flew up towards Sky’s Reach to join Prinze.

Beezul turned and grabbed his magical doorknob, dispelling the magnificent beehive in the process. He noted that the space on the hull in which the magical door had appeared was completely untouched by flames and scratches before turning to pick up the groundskeeper Frank and joining his party.

That is where this part of this week’s tale ends, and the next part of this tale will begin.